no matter if you're black or white..

"So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes! Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live."


herrgott, ich verstehe gerade, dass "take that - patience" für mich geschrieben sein könnte. und ich das einfach nicht hinkrieg: patience ist nämlich nicht mein ding. und ich dränge und warte und rufe und schreie und kann nicht glauben, und vielleicht mach ich mir damit etwas kaputt, das gerade erst beginnt. ich fühle, verdammt. und ich kann nicht damit warten, ich brenne förmlich und ich kann dir kaum zeit geben, obwohl du das erste seit eineinhalb jahren bist, das meine gedanken so sehr einnimmt, dass es mich zerreissen und gleichzeitig zusammenflicken könnte. woher soll ich da geduld nehmen, wenn du mein herz beanspruchst und erwärmst und dann willst, dass ich es "erstmal" einfriere? ich weiß dass du zeit brauchst,
aber ich brauche DICH.

tell me
love isn't true
it's just something, that we do
tell me
everything another
please don't tell me to stop..



sitting, waiting, wishing - prinzip. ekelhaft.